Things I’ve learned about myself

So it’s weird to live your life and think you know yourself when really, some things you can only know through other people. And the other weird thing about that is these other people have to tell you that…what do I mean?

#1 thing I learned about myself:

I AM SUPER LITERAL. I had no idea until 3 years ago. But it really explains a lot about me. A couple people mentioned to me that they had never met someone as literal as me – whatever did they mean?

eg.

Man: I heard in Thailand that you can live like a king for nothing!

Me: No, it’s not nothing, it’s still money, just not a lot of money

This kind of thing happens to me all the time and because of that it leads to a lot of other things SUCH AS:

  • Not understanding sarcasm. Sarcasm sucks anyways but it’s especially confusing for me, coupled with my naivety I have to decipher sarcasm through logic, could that possibly happen? If not, then sarcasm. If yes, then not sarcasm.
  • Jokes, I don’t understand jokes a lot of the time because I fail to see the humorous part. For a long time I hated comedy shows or movies because I didn’t think it was funny. And the parts I did find funny, no one else laughed at. So imagine a full theatre where everyone is laughing but you. #awkward. Now imagine a theatre where no one is laughing but you are. #awkward. What a lose lose.
  • Flirting – WOW. I mean this one goes both ways. How do I mean? Well first, I can’t pick up on the fact that you’re flirting with me. I enjoy banter, I think it’s fun. Additionally, I am super Canadian and love being friendly with everyone. I will hug you after our first encounter and am generally quite polite. PLUS, I’m actually listening to you and that seems to confuse people. I am not flirting nor do I understand that you are flirting with me.
  • The above point leads to me going on a lot of unintentional dates. Those end up #awkward. Twice I went out with guys because I thought they were gay. They weren’t. Netflix and chill to me LITERALLY means, let’s pick a movie, watch it on opposite ends of the couch and eat snacks. Why are you sitting so close to me? #awkward
  • Because I am so literal, I take most things quite seriously, especially commitments so it confuses me when people don’t say what they mean – or when they do things opposite to what they’ve said. This is entirely confusing. I don’t play games. I am not interested in drama and tend to gravitate towards the straight shooter type. At least this way, I don’t need to read in between the lines which I am bad at anyways.
  • Lying, I can’t lie.
  • Bullshitting – why would I bullshit someone? This is confusing.
  • Social cues. I miss a lot of the nuances by being so literal.

I’m so literal I thought Jurassic World was a REAL place! The conversation went something like this;

Friend: Hey you up for Jurassic World?

Me: Yeah! That sounds awesome (because I think it’s a theme park with giant dinosaurs roaming around) – I think to myself, you know in Hong Kong, the island is pretty small so if they were building a theme park, I would probably know about it. I wonder where it is?

I open the Googler. Tap tap tap on the keyboard “Jurassic Wold Hong Kong” and low and behold, movie theatres and showtimes start popping up!! TURNS OUT, it is the HIGHEST GROSSING FILM OF ALL TIME. Huh…and so that is how being literal affects my life.

Leave A Comment