This is why I heart Craigslist…

Source: Craigslist

SF bay area craigslist > san francisco > housing > room/share wanted

$1000 Best. Roommate. Ever.

Date: 2011-08-18, 3:39PM PDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]


Konichiwa bitches. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fucking found him. I’m a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York Fucking City. That’s right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky shit-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post shit like this on Craigslist.Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no fucking clue where to live. Honestly, I’m moving there in 3 weeks, so I don’t give a shit if I have to sleep in your bathtub.A bit about me: I’m respectful, quiet, clean and I won’t bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I’m just like, “Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it’s not mine.” I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I’ll even cook for you. That’s right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I’ll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don’t eat meat? That’s fucking FANTASTIC! I’ll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.


I have my very own Damn You Autocorrect!!

Not entirely sure that this is something to be proud of…


This is funny stuff

iPod Dock

Don’t feel like reading? Listen here!



I’m a slave to the Apple people so how is it that I don’t own an iPod Dock? I mean it makes 0 sense. I was on this radio craze for awhile – I was all like WHOA there are so many stations and you can listen to any genre this is crazypants! I’m going to get a shower radio ASAP! That was super short lived. I want to listen to my own songs!

Keep on reading, click here!

Apple, Step it UP!


What do you do plus minus?

Dear Apple,


A couple of months ago I saw my roommates earphones. I was jealous. They had a plus (+) minus (-) bar on them. Mine didn’t. So I bought an iPhone. I too now own earphones with a plus minus. Except, they don’t work.

Originally I thought the plus minus was to go forwards or backwards on my playlist but I tried that and it didn’t work. Then I thought it must be for volume except that I pressed the plus so many times that if it was for volume why haven’t my eardrums blown out?

What does the plus minus do except disappoint?

Keep on reading, click here!